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The Ultimate QOTD By Lilith Sherrard

Quote of the Day is a key part of rehearsal. In rehearsal, outlandishly funny things get said and are even better out of context. So, today I invite you to join me on the journey of finding The Ultimate Quote of the Day.

I will be going through the shows I’ve been in and pitting these quotes against one another. And in the end, we will find the champion quote from each show and having a final showdown.


The qualifiers:

First show:

The 39 Steps

I found water, I found magnets, but I didn't find love-Techie

Vs.

The sheep sound is in the eye of the beholder-Actor

Winner: I found water, I found magnets, but I didn't find love-Techie

Can 2 girls really just be friends? A monologue, I will now begin-Actor

Vs

Maybe wave your shoe around in the air-Director

Winner: Maybe wave your shoe around in the air-Director

So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-Stage Manager

Vs.

Not to pull out some sass but I'm not gonna kill my grandma-Actor

Winner: So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-Stage Manager


Final Showdown:

So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-Stage Manager

Show Two:

Pippin

Bad news I forgot the bazooka-Actor

Vs

Back hoes, barbarous and bloody-Actor

Winner: Bad news I forgot the bazooka-Actor

I am so sorry that you are going to get scurvy and die because you don't eat citrus-ASM

Vs

But sire, we have no ooga booga- Actor

Winner: I am so sorry that you are going to get scurvy and die because you don't eat citrus-ASM


Wow, altos, you just had to be different, you just had to be quirky, you had to not be like other girls-Music Director

Vs

It is set in medieval times; I could just keel over and die at any minute-Actor

Winner: Wow, altos, you just had to be different, you just had to be quirky, you had to not be like other girls-Music Director

Don't forget your GigaChad bottle-SMA

Vs

Be gaga googoo for Pippin puffs-Director

Winner: Be gaga googoo for Pippin puffs-Director

Let the leading player crowd surf- ASM

Vs

Two minutes?? I can't eat a burrito in two minutes!-Actor

Winner: Two minutes?? I can't eat a burrito in two minutes!-Actor

Haven't you seen a lady lift a boat before?-Actor

Vs

You are my oasis-Actor(Me!!)

Winner: Haven't you seen a lady lift a boat before?-Actor

That represents Pippin's authority...and daddy issues -Director

Vs

What if the bed turned into the imperial march?- Actor

Winner: That represents Pippin's authority...and daddy issues -Director

Get that stank warmed up -Actor

Vs

Ravenna, her murders and crimes, the sequel to pippin, his life and times-Actor

Winner: Ravenna, her murders and crimes, the sequel to pippin, his life and times-Actor

“Has it been spoke?" "It has been spucked" -Two Actors

Vs

When you are onstage, you are onstage, until you are offstage -Assistant Director

Winner: Has it been spoke?" "It has been spucked" -Two Actors

You'll hear the voice of God, sounding remarkably similar to your SM- Director

Vs

If you mention alcohol in front of underage people and don't tell them not to drink it, Jay Inslee will swoop in and take you to jail-Pit Musician

Winner: If you mention alcohol in front of underage people and don't tell them not to drink it, Jay Inslee will swoop in and take you to jail"-Pit Musician

Stage Manager, Lilith is psychologically torturing me with crabs-Actor

VS

I'm crunchin, and oh baby am I munching-SM

Winner: I'm crunchin, and oh baby am I munching-SM

Final Showdown:

Two minutes?? I can't eat a burrito in two minutes!-Actor

Show Three

The Imaginary Invalid

Wench is a gendered word, so I'm breaking stereotypes by calling Ben a wench -Actor

Vs

Everybody had depressing doodoos-Actor

Winner: Wench is a gendered word, so I'm breaking stereotypes by calling Ben a wench-Actor

Bro gets beat up by verbs-Actor

Vs

I have a penguin that's a nice tube of a penguin-Actor

Winner: I have a penguin that's a nice tube of a penguin-Actor


No one else makes circumcision jokes in math" -Actor

Vs

So where are you from, Weezer Pleaser? -Actor

Winner: So where are you from, Weezer Pleaser? -Actor

Final Showdown:

Wench is a gendered word, so I'm breaking stereotypes by calling Ben a wench -Actor

Show Four

Hello, Dolly!

These shoes make me fly!-Actor

Vs

No, no. I'm a door stopper wizard-Director

Winner: No, no. I'm a door stopper wizard-Director

“Ribbons Down my Back is just hot girl summer" “1890's hot girl summer" -Actors

Vs

If you're not pretty, then everything's meaningless Weeee- Director

Winner: If you're not pretty, then everything's meaningless Weeee- Director

(To the tune of YMCA) It's fun to stay at the Harmonia Gardens -Actor

Vs

We Sundayed the HECK out of those clothes-Actor

Winner: (To the tune of YMCA) It's fun to stay at the Harmonia Gardens -Gavin

All marketing is good marketing" "…NO" -Director and Marketing Officer

Vs

Can we flood the stage with a deadly amount of water...and then I part it?" -Actor

Winner: All marketing is good marketing" "…NO" -Director and Marketing Officer

I'm a concubine for aussie bites-Techie(me!)

Vs

Do you have any extra shift plots? My cat kinda ate mine -Techie

Winner: Do you have any extra shift plots? My cat kinda ate mine -Techie

Guys, where are his pants?-Costume Techie

Vs

Do you need some burn cream? I can burn you-SM

Winner: Guys, where are his pants?-Costume Techie

Everyone's coming over to marvel at my stubble-Actor

Vs

"I've echolocated Rose Barnes" "It's giving beluga whale" -Techie and Actor

Winner: "I've echolocated Rose Barnes" "It's giving beluga whale" -Techie(me!) and Actor

Final Showdown:

No, no. I'm a door stopper wizard-Director

The Showdown of all showdowns:

So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-Stage Manager

Vs

Two minutes?? I can't eat a burrito in two minutes!-Actor

The winner: So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-SM. It was a tough call but, I can never undermine a quote with dead bodies.

Wench is a gendered word, so I'm breaking stereotypes by calling Ben a wench -Actor

Vs

No, no. I'm a door stopper wizard-Director

The Winner: No, no. I'm a door stopper wizard-Director. Once again, some incredibly difficult decisions, but I do seek to learn the ways of door stopper wizardry so I feel it’d be bad karma for me to not choose this one.


The Ultimate Quote of the Day:

So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-SM. Now, here’s why: This quote is from my freshman year show at Hale, so I definitely look at it with rose colored glasses, but that show was so important as to the doors it opened for me. I would’ve never made it to this point in theatre without the incredible experience I got from that show. It inspires me to give that show to someone else. To help open up those doors for them.


I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into one of my favorite things about Hale Theatre. Even though it’s not a very big or even important thing in the grand scheme of a show, but it creates incredible memories. I can think back to the days of each of the quotes and the context never fails to make me laugh. I remember the wonderful people I was working with, the amazing designers and directors, and the learnings I got. Even if that day itself was crappy, those moments weren’t. I hope that if you were in some of these moments, that nostalgic moment happened for you too. And if you weren’t, I hope you enjoyed some silly out of context jokes.

-Lilith <3




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