Quote of the Day is a key part of rehearsal. In rehearsal, outlandishly funny things get said and are even better out of context. So, today I invite you to join me on the journey of finding The Ultimate Quote of the Day.
I will be going through the shows I’ve been in and pitting these quotes against one another. And in the end, we will find the champion quote from each show and having a final showdown.
The qualifiers:
First show:
The 39 Steps
I found water, I found magnets, but I didn't find love-Techie
Vs.
The sheep sound is in the eye of the beholder-Actor
Winner: I found water, I found magnets, but I didn't find love-Techie
Can 2 girls really just be friends? A monologue, I will now begin-Actor
Vs
Maybe wave your shoe around in the air-Director
Winner: Maybe wave your shoe around in the air-Director
So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-Stage Manager
Vs.
Not to pull out some sass but I'm not gonna kill my grandma-Actor
Winner: So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-Stage Manager
Final Showdown:
So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-Stage Manager
Show Two:
Pippin
Bad news I forgot the bazooka-Actor
Vs
Back hoes, barbarous and bloody-Actor
Winner: Bad news I forgot the bazooka-Actor
I am so sorry that you are going to get scurvy and die because you don't eat citrus-ASM
Vs
But sire, we have no ooga booga- Actor
Winner: I am so sorry that you are going to get scurvy and die because you don't eat citrus-ASM
Wow, altos, you just had to be different, you just had to be quirky, you had to not be like other girls-Music Director
Vs
It is set in medieval times; I could just keel over and die at any minute-Actor
Winner: Wow, altos, you just had to be different, you just had to be quirky, you had to not be like other girls-Music Director
Don't forget your GigaChad bottle-SMA
Vs
Be gaga googoo for Pippin puffs-Director
Winner: Be gaga googoo for Pippin puffs-Director
Let the leading player crowd surf- ASM
Vs
Two minutes?? I can't eat a burrito in two minutes!-Actor
Winner: Two minutes?? I can't eat a burrito in two minutes!-Actor
Haven't you seen a lady lift a boat before?-Actor
Vs
You are my oasis-Actor(Me!!)
Winner: Haven't you seen a lady lift a boat before?-Actor
That represents Pippin's authority...and daddy issues -Director
Vs
What if the bed turned into the imperial march?- Actor
Winner: That represents Pippin's authority...and daddy issues -Director
Get that stank warmed up -Actor
Vs
Ravenna, her murders and crimes, the sequel to pippin, his life and times-Actor
Winner: Ravenna, her murders and crimes, the sequel to pippin, his life and times-Actor
“Has it been spoke?" "It has been spucked" -Two Actors
Vs
When you are onstage, you are onstage, until you are offstage -Assistant Director
Winner: Has it been spoke?" "It has been spucked" -Two Actors
You'll hear the voice of God, sounding remarkably similar to your SM- Director
Vs
If you mention alcohol in front of underage people and don't tell them not to drink it, Jay Inslee will swoop in and take you to jail-Pit Musician
Winner: If you mention alcohol in front of underage people and don't tell them not to drink it, Jay Inslee will swoop in and take you to jail"-Pit Musician
Stage Manager, Lilith is psychologically torturing me with crabs-Actor
VS
I'm crunchin, and oh baby am I munching-SM
Winner: I'm crunchin, and oh baby am I munching-SM
Final Showdown:
Two minutes?? I can't eat a burrito in two minutes!-Actor
Show Three
The Imaginary Invalid
Wench is a gendered word, so I'm breaking stereotypes by calling Ben a wench -Actor
Vs
Everybody had depressing doodoos-Actor
Winner: Wench is a gendered word, so I'm breaking stereotypes by calling Ben a wench-Actor
Bro gets beat up by verbs-Actor
Vs
I have a penguin that's a nice tube of a penguin-Actor
Winner: I have a penguin that's a nice tube of a penguin-Actor
No one else makes circumcision jokes in math" -Actor
Vs
So where are you from, Weezer Pleaser? -Actor
Winner: So where are you from, Weezer Pleaser? -Actor
Final Showdown:
Wench is a gendered word, so I'm breaking stereotypes by calling Ben a wench -Actor
Show Four
Hello, Dolly!
These shoes make me fly!-Actor
Vs
No, no. I'm a door stopper wizard-Director
Winner: No, no. I'm a door stopper wizard-Director
“Ribbons Down my Back is just hot girl summer" “1890's hot girl summer" -Actors
Vs
If you're not pretty, then everything's meaningless Weeee- Director
Winner: If you're not pretty, then everything's meaningless Weeee- Director
(To the tune of YMCA) It's fun to stay at the Harmonia Gardens -Actor
Vs
We Sundayed the HECK out of those clothes-Actor
Winner: (To the tune of YMCA) It's fun to stay at the Harmonia Gardens -Gavin
All marketing is good marketing" "…NO" -Director and Marketing Officer
Vs
Can we flood the stage with a deadly amount of water...and then I part it?" -Actor
Winner: All marketing is good marketing" "…NO" -Director and Marketing Officer
I'm a concubine for aussie bites-Techie(me!)
Vs
Do you have any extra shift plots? My cat kinda ate mine -Techie
Winner: Do you have any extra shift plots? My cat kinda ate mine -Techie
Guys, where are his pants?-Costume Techie
Vs
Do you need some burn cream? I can burn you-SM
Winner: Guys, where are his pants?-Costume Techie
Everyone's coming over to marvel at my stubble-Actor
Vs
"I've echolocated Rose Barnes" "It's giving beluga whale" -Techie and Actor
Winner: "I've echolocated Rose Barnes" "It's giving beluga whale" -Techie(me!) and Actor
Final Showdown:
No, no. I'm a door stopper wizard-Director
The Showdown of all showdowns:
So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-Stage Manager
Vs
Two minutes?? I can't eat a burrito in two minutes!-Actor
The winner: So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-SM. It was a tough call but, I can never undermine a quote with dead bodies.
Wench is a gendered word, so I'm breaking stereotypes by calling Ben a wench -Actor
Vs
No, no. I'm a door stopper wizard-Director
The Winner: No, no. I'm a door stopper wizard-Director. Once again, some incredibly difficult decisions, but I do seek to learn the ways of door stopper wizardry so I feel it’d be bad karma for me to not choose this one.
The Ultimate Quote of the Day:
So yes, the dead body should not be onstage-SM. Now, here’s why: This quote is from my freshman year show at Hale, so I definitely look at it with rose colored glasses, but that show was so important as to the doors it opened for me. I would’ve never made it to this point in theatre without the incredible experience I got from that show. It inspires me to give that show to someone else. To help open up those doors for them.
I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into one of my favorite things about Hale Theatre. Even though it’s not a very big or even important thing in the grand scheme of a show, but it creates incredible memories. I can think back to the days of each of the quotes and the context never fails to make me laugh. I remember the wonderful people I was working with, the amazing designers and directors, and the learnings I got. Even if that day itself was crappy, those moments weren’t. I hope that if you were in some of these moments, that nostalgic moment happened for you too. And if you weren’t, I hope you enjoyed some silly out of context jokes.
-Lilith <3
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