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The Bee-st Vignette by Leif Hoberecht

It’s the scariest season of the year, October, or it was when I wrote this, either way, I feel it’s appropriate to make my blog post a little creepy. What’s something that almost everyone is afraid of, that’s right, bees, invented by Jerry Seinfeld in the unanimously agreed to bee bee-st movie of all time, “Bee Movie.” As I explained in my last blog post on Hello Dolly, a great piece of art influences those that follow, thus the more similar a piece of art is to a great piece of art, the bee-tter it is, thus if the script of our fall play, “Almost, Maine,” can bee used to write out the bee movie script it would mean, it’s worth seeing. Not only this, but I will objectively rank each vignette through this method, and to avoid legal problems with sharing the script, I will bee using the public online third revised edition of the script. First let’s lay out the letters in the Bee Movie


2874 a’s

A shockingly low 768 b’s

719 c’s

1142 d’s

4585 e’s

648 f’s

920 g’s

2075 h’s

2690 i's

117 j’s

572 k’s

1691 l’s

945 m’s

2542 n’s

3434 o’s

542 p’s

26 q’s

2042 r’s

2260 s’s

3531 t’s

1379 u’s

401 v’s

1034 w’s

38 x’s

1275 y’s

And 74 z’s


Now we shall judge “Almost, Maine” by going through the letters highest to lowest. I’ll even give them the bee-nefit of including the credits and other notes (mostly bee-cause I don’t want to have to cut them out) “Almost, Maine” passes the e’s almost 4-fold at 15,327, in fact, it goes way over pretty much every letter, and if it weren’t for Barry’s fondness of Jazz giving “Bee Movie” an abnormally high amount of z’s you could write at least two “Bee Movie's” with “Almost, Maine.” You would bee doing yourself a disservice to not go and see our performance of such a bee-utifully written show. So, let’s go to something more interesting, the vignette ranking. I will bee doing this by seeing which vignette uses the letter “b” the most often, but also add 10 “b’s” for every-time you could spell jazz with the script the ranking from worst to best goes:


Interlogue: 20 (20 b’s 0 jazzes)

Epilogue: 42 (42 b’s, 0 jazzes)

Prologue: 75 (65 b’s, 1 jazz)

Scene 2: 93 (93 b’s, 0 jazzes)

Scene 6: 94 (84 b’s, 1 jazz)

Scene 4: 156 (136 b’s, 2 jazzes)

Scene 7: 202 (132 b’s, 7 jazzes)

Scene 5: 207 (167 b’s, 4 jazzes

Scene 8: 225 (155 b’s, 7 jazzes)

Scene 3: 240 (200 b’s 4 jazzes)

Scene 1: 306 (226 b’s, 8 jazzes)


So, there you have it, Barry B. Benson’s official ranking of vignette’s from “Almost, Maine” however, who’s to say it’s yours. See Nathan Hale’s production of “Almost, Maine” to find out!




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