My relationship with the recent smoke we've been having is complicated. I was up in the mountains this past weekend, and the smoke got up to a 192 rating. The sun was blood red most of the time, the air was thick and had ash floating around in it. It was as warm as summer, even though it's mid-October. To say the least, it looked like a dystopian, apocalyptic horror movie. Like, the end of the world vibes. The smoke was so bad I started wheezing just from standing outside. My chest was sore and my throat was stressed. Despite all of this, I love the smoke. Of course, I don't love how it makes my body feel, and the fact that it's a symptom of our planet's health rapidly decreasing. But the part I do love about it is the smell. It's like a campfire is swallowing you whole. It's like you become a campfire, actually. It's such a nostalgic, comforting smell for me, so every time I go outside and smell it, I can't help but smile. And not gonna lie, the sun being such a stunning and simultaneously alarming color was really cool to me. It was beautiful and creepy. So, it's complicated. It felt wrong but also so right. I've noticed that many things in life are complex in this sort of way. We can love something that's not good for us, or hate something that helps us. Life's like an onion. It has many intricate layers to it, that we keep peeling back to just find more layers. It's not a sad vegetable, but it always makes you cry. My character Toinette is very complex. She, like an onion and my relationship with the smoke, has many layers to her. Her relationships with other characters are complicated and nuanced. Which is what makes her so fun to play, and also so relatable. I'm excited to dive deeper into her mind and peel back more of her layers to see what's hiding.
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